Myself and Arni will once again be here all season to bring you the most audacious touchdowns, bone-crunching hits, and the messiest fatalities, isn't that right Arni?
Arnild Swoonzenorger: How many times must I tell you, my name is Arnild and not 'Arni', you sweat rag, moist from a troll's rectal juices! Arnild is sad to have lost a bet which has resulted in my being here, surrounded by insipid morons with less brain cells than a clan of 'shroom addicted goblins, but is most excited to witness the violence the mindless cretins that are to take to the pitch are bound to subject each other too! If you don't believe Arnild just look at my rock hard nipples!
Phillipe: That's right Arni! Pundits are predicting this year to be a bloody ol' Slogger-Blocker, with a distinct lack of traditional free-scoring teams and a large amount of grinding, bashing teams taking to the field.
On a quest to prove their bashing worth we have three Dwarf teams which have made the long climb down from their mountain Karaks, perhaps inspired to take on their old foes the Ork, who have also turned up with three teams too, harassing dozens of villages on their way to the Middenland!
Arnild: Arnild's village elder says good things come in threes. This is why Arnild always carries three axes, wars with three enemies simultaneously, orders three flagons of ale, eats three pigs for every meal, and takes three lovers at a time. Arnild has begun to become concerned with the number of lovers available though, it's becoming...difficult...to find that many women in my village. Luckily Arnild appreciates a challenge, and is also somewhat gender blind when the occasion suits me.
Phillipe: Three pigs! That sounds like a second breakfast down The Cheese & Beer! You could be one of the Moot folk with that kind of appetite, Arni!
Arnild: How dare you compare me to a half-folk, you tiny muffin man! I have ripped the spines from men and sucked out the fluids for lesser insults! Also, spinal fluid is a excellent source of protein, which suits Arnild's life style.
Phillipe: Hah, that's right Arni, and two teams who certainly have spines, or rather back bones, are the two plucky stunty teams competing this season! This will certainly be good news to the motley crew of a Chaos Renegade team and their dark god worshipping cousins, the Chaos Dwarfs, who like nothing more than turning their opponents into a fleshy jam. Plying their more well rounded trade will be the four Human teams hitting the Gridiron, who have travelled in from the corners of the Empire to prove their worth. This will suit the Vampire team arriving from Sylvania in the twilight hours of this evening, who are reportedly on the prowl for more Thralls. Running away from all of the above is likely to be the single Skaven and Lizardman teams, who will be looking to outscore rather than out punch their opposition!
Arnild: Vampires? Arnild despises the Undead! Next you'll be telling me there are dozens of Elfs inbound!
Philipe: Nope, no Elfs this year Arni. Well, perhaps at Christmas!
Philipe: Nope, no Elfs this year Arni. Well, perhaps at Christmas!
Arnild: WHAT?!? ELFS ARE DISGUSTING, FANCIFUL CREATURES WHO KNOW NOTHING OF THE GRIND OF MORTAL LIFE- Wait, what's 'Christmas'?
Philipe: That's all the time we have for this week folks, tune in next week for some highlights of this weekend's games! G'Night, and may Nuffle smile on you!
Arnild: What's a 'Christmas'?!? Why are there Elfs?! Arnild will start beheading people and eating their children's legs if he is not told immediately!
Philipe: That's all the time we have for this week folks, tune in next week for some highlights of this weekend's games! G'Night, and may Nuffle smile on you!
Arnild: What's a 'Christmas'?!? Why are there Elfs?! Arnild will start beheading people and eating their children's legs if he is not told immediately!
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