Smash Of The Week - Week 1

The Midgard Marvels cage up

Phillipe Flabbybun: Greetings and welcome to Smash Of The Week, your number one place to get all your M.A.D. post-game news! Myself, Phillipe, and my co-host Arni, will be guiding you through all the most electric touchdowns, game changing plays and brutal take outs.

Arnild Swoonzenorger: My name is Arnild, you cur! You are an insufferable maggot and I will eat your heart.

Phillipe: The teams certainly did have heart on the opening night Arni, with a majority result of four draws from the six games showing a dogged, fighting spirit amongst of the teams, including a last minute equaliser from the Nighthawks and a slip of the hand causing Dragons Unleashed to snatch a draw from the jaws of victory, not to mention a stomach turning total of eighteen casualties and three fatalities this week!

Arnild: Hah ha, may the blood of the weak flow freely!

The big boys of The Waaghshinton Greenskins
begin to put fist to face

Phillipe: Our weekend's wins came from a couple of grinding matches in which two of our Skaven teams took a beating from their opponents, namely the Bar'Dhum Breakers and the Waaghshinton Greenskins, both of whom jump to the top of their respective divisions. The Greenskins beat a one to nothing win out against The Undercity Speedsters, who were got caught in a green, angry cage and suffered five casualties! After a Gutter Runner from The Tails Of The Riverbank tripped over his own feet and stunned himself within the first few minutes of their game versus the Breakers, the stoic, small men took charge of the game and proceeded to batter their way to the end zone, once in both halves, shattering a Throwers ankle and killing two Line Rats in the process! There are strong rumours being thrown around of bribes trading hands after the Riverbank's coach, 'Stick' Mangepaw, was seen talking to the stadium owners at half time and then promptly leaving with the first team's armour as well as the majority of the ticket pot! I guess more violence will equal more Cabalvision streams for The Muckbowl Stadium.

Arnild: Despicable vermin, how dare he betray his brothers for simple coin. If I ever meet this rat I will boil it alive and drink the hideous soup! A pox on his being, may he be covered in weeping sores!

Phillipe: I would certainly be weeping too if I were on his team! Before we show you the tables, let's stop by the Best Of The Week showcase;

Dragons Unleashed begin to slink their way to the End Zone

Touchdown Of The Week - Midgard Marvels - Team Effort: The eccentric Marvels scored a
touchdown that the Reikland Reavers would have been proud off. After collecting the ball near their end zone, they energetically sprinted up the field and tossed an accurate pass which was received under pressure, the catcher then dodging away and hightailing it to the endzone! That's already a contender for play of the season.

Tackle Of The Week - Bar'Dhum Breakers - Olaf Thunderboast: Previously the coach of the Breakers before the explosives accident 50 years ago, now known as 'Gunpowdergate', Olaf's grudge evidently burns strong and hot inside him still, as he proceeded to headbut a Skaven so hard he literally turned his nose inside out, killing him instantly!

Lowlight Of The Week - Tails Of The River Bank - Scruffy Shortail: In what could have been a very brave, ballsy and brilliant blitz manoeuvre, the Line Rat fell at the first hurdle after his tail was grabbed when attempting a dodge and fell, cracking his collar bone. Ouch!

Arnild: Enough! I am bored of watching these cretins pound each other in the past, I am leaving to find copious amounts of ale and live in the now!

Phillipe: Well said Arni, goodbye all, and as always remember to buy Cheap Shot Sports!

Week 1