Kristov Kristoverson: ...
Phillipe: So Kristov, do you have anything to show us this week? Any points of commentary on the games? Any thoughts at all?
Kristov: I have our new shoes, the Warpspeed Performance Sneakers.
Phillipe: Wow, and aren't they... er... loud! You don't normally see that much yellow and orange in one place! I'll give them a try on later, and show them off to our viewers.
Before we get into this weekends games, we had an impromptu meeting between The Undercity Speedsters and the Nagash Nightmares! It is reported that the Skaven's team apothecary discovered a couple of The Nightmare's zombies loitering around the medical tents, and reported it to the head coach. After a few frenzied minutes of arguments between the coaches, in which no one could understand each other (either due to language barriers or missing jaws and ears) the coaches decided the best way to vent their frustrations was though a league game of Ball.
Speedster faithfuls may have been left grinning after winning the coin toss to receive, but the Undead front line managed to recoup early and secure the ball. This resulted in a meat-grinder of a half where The Nightmares violently forced their way slowly up the gridiron and towards The Speedsters endzone, only for a Skeleton blocker to have both his arms fall off which allowed a Gutter Runner to waltz into the cage and perform a sumptuous block on the ball carrier! This resulted in the first half ending 0-0.
With The Speedsters front line having taken such a pounding in the first half, it is little surprise that the Undead managed to walk in a touch down, deciding not to take the entire half to put the score on the board. This allowed the Skaven team to receive again, but sadly for them they were caught not paying attention at the kick off which allowed The Nightmare's Mummies to begin their enthusiastic hugging once more.
The game ended up as a 1-0 victory to the Nagash Nightmares, who didn't only end up with three points and a few chests of the gold stuff, but also a new(ish) Skaven zombie for the team!
As for this weekend now, we have three firecrackers lined up for you!
Orocarni Stiffbeards vs Tails Of The Riverbank
Nighthawks vs Wakky Whiddettz
Hug A Tree United vs Waaghshinton Greenskins
Now Kris, hand me the shoes and let's get me strutting my stuff! Oooo, they're very comfy, what do you think viewers?
Kristov: They are state of the art and will be sure to keep your opponent guessing where's that guy oh wait there's that guy. The patented Cheap Shot Sports 'Space' button will...
Phillipe: Oh, this one here? That looks neat, let's give it a go!
****POOOOOOF****
Kristov: ...teleport you to within 15 yards of your current location for 64% of the time.
****BAAAAANG****
Arnild Swoonzenorger: Tiny man of unyielding tounge, I am back! I an unashamed to state that I missed your incomprehensible jabber, and wish to tell of you about my favourite villages to plunder! Wait, where is my Halfling? Who are you?
Kristov: ...
Arnild: They replaced him? Damn those Wizard maggots! I will tear the walls down to find my brother, and snap the limbs of those in my way! I will push my thumbs through your nipples, and tear out your perineum with my teeth! You warty pustule of a man, come here!
Kristov: ...Arrgghhh!!...
--**--This program's schedule has been terminated due to a breach of watershed rules--**--
Oh woe is me, for a great tragedy has occurred. Bart the gutter runner has a debilitating injury reducing his agility by one. The shame for him is almost too much to bare.
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