Kristov Kristoverson: Hi.
Phillipe: Have you got anything new to show us this week? Perhaps your latest line of clip-on knuckle-dusters, the Jaw-5000? Or maybe the snug new running tights you have produced, guaranteed to increase your running speed by 1% and the tightness of your rump by 66%, the Sprint-N-Perks?
Kristov: No.
Phillipe: Right, okay, no problem. We have three games to talk about from the weekend, with a good mix of North and South division teams getting down and dirty! Sadly our Cablevision streams lost connection due to an apparent increase in Warp storms around the Chaos Wastes, so sadly we have no pictures to show you, but rest assured, the money you spent on the games won't go to waste! I have it on good authority the Dean of the Bright Wizards has just renovated his games room to include a miniature Blood Bowl arena, complete with tiny, enslaved demons to play at his will.
First up we have...
Music Or the Lizery- 3 - 0 -Wakky Whiddetz
The Wakky Boyz certainly lived up to their name, with the Greenskins spending most of their time bouncing off Tiny, the Lizardman team's star Saraus! You would certainly have to be insane to line up to fight a lizard as toned as a Kroxigor! The rumours have it that head coach Luggutz 'Looney' Lynch has his own shrubbery of exotic mushrooms, which cause after-affects in only the way an Orc vegetable could. This mixture of insanity and hardheadedness allowed The Music's to run around the green cage and score three touchdowns with no response. When questioned about how happy he was with the win and it securing top spot in the North division for his team, manager Mikos Marleus simply stuck his tongue out and hissed aggressively at our reporter.
The Undercity Speedsters- 2 - 1 -Hug A Tree United
Getting their campaign of the ground, The Speedsters have begun to live up to their name with a quick fire two to one win over HATU. Our pundits had this game down for a big score line, and it may well have lived up to the billing if it wasn't for the storm taking place directly over the Sogsuck Stadium, an arena known for it's constant bad weather due to a curse placed on it 200 years ago after the owner lost a bet to a Sea Hag. It took the Skaven all of the first half to secure their first touchdown, but after the break fell foul to a lightning quick drive from The Hugger's star Wardancer who equalised almost as soon as the whistle was blown! The rain proceed to get even worse however, with large portions of the pitch turning into a quagmire. This caused havoc for both teams who spent a majority of the half slipping over at the line of scrimmage, before the ball popped out from an Elves hands and was nabbed by a Gutter Runner, passed to another sewer rat who went on to grab a second touchdown and the win.
Nu Orc Jetz- 0 - 1 -Orocarni Stiffbeards
In what turned out to be a cagey affair between our two new comers, the Dwarves managed to come out on top of a real meat-grinder of a game. The Stiffy's collected and scored a classic Dwarven touchdown in the first half, although it was almost undone when an Orc managed to get a block onto the ball carrier, only for Nuffle to smile on the beards and have the ball squirt out into the surprised hands of another Dwarf! The second half had a draw written all over it until The Jetterz seemed to lose their nerve and get the jitterz, after the thrower Munz failed a pin point catch (unless catching the ball with your face counts) and then proceeded to literally trip over his own shoe laces at the doorstep of the endzone!
And that's all the time we have for this week! With a goodbye from myself, and a goodbye from Kris-
Kris: ...
Phillipe: We leave you with the division tables as of the end of week three, and the hope that Arni will be back real soon!
You forgot the most important news. Barry the Gutter Runner has Movement 10 now. "Now Run Barry, Run"
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