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| Getting into the ruck, fist first |
Phillipe Flabbybun: Greetings and welcome to Smash Of The Week, where you can get really M.A.D.!
Phillipe: After the eventful mid-week draw between the Midgard Marvels and Tails Of The River Bank, the crowds had been left hoping that the weekend's games would deliver as much excitement. Well, I'm happy to report that nobody was disappointed! Six teams took to the gridiron to deliver punches, points and pain!
Arnild: You have breathed enough hot air to inflate a cow skin, you tiny gluttonous fiend. Inform me of the matches which I missed, after my second round of your poisonous homebrew!
Phillipe: Right you are Arni! We had two wins this weekend, the first of which was in favour of Music Or The Lizery, who put three scores past Hug A Tree United, who must have at least thought they had a point on the board after scoring two touchdowns themselves. In the end the brawn of a Saraus front line paid of, with the strength of these enormous lizards distracting the Wood Elves enough to allow their smaller cousins to slip past with the ball.
Arnild: The pelts of these large, ugly lizards make for excellent throne upholstery.
Phillipe: There must have been something in the water over at the Puddletown Arena however, as after the game both squads seemed have a couple of players leave even larger and more muscular than when they entered. In fact, HATU are using the new muscularity of their Wardancer in their latest PR campaign, siting the player as the 'Most Handsome, Nimble And Valuable Player In The Whole League'! If there is one thing you can be sure of, it's Elves being Elves!
Arnild: Their arrogance makes me want to tear this Wardancer's face to pieces, and box it as a puzzle for his children to piece back together!
Phillipe: Our second win came of the weekend from the Bar'Dhum Breakers, who continue their Grudge March with a 2-0 win over the Nagash Nightmares, who only recently entered the league after raising a not-so-recently deceased forward line. A rather tepid first half resulted in little action bar a single touchdown, with the Breakers unable to split the tough armour of their decaying opposition, and the Nightmares apparently forgetting how to play Bloodbowl at all! That's what fifty plus years in the dirt will do to you.
The Breakers must have been laid into by their coach at the break though, and as they began the second half strongly quickly racking up four casualties, three of which were courtesy of a particularly angry Longbeard named Asfer Blazenforge, who has now inflicted four injuries in two games! It turns out Blazenforge is a Dwarf of limited words, as during an attempted post match interview he answered the reporter's first question with an expletive and the second by jamming the microphone into their mouth!
Arnild: In my home country this is perfectly reasonable form for an interview. Reporter's should all be burnt at the stake.
Phillipe: Last but not least was the draw between the Waaghshinton Greenskins and Dragons Unleashed. In what could only be described as 'eighty minutes of scrum', the game offered very little entertainment for the 'football' fan, but plenty to watch for the ultra-violence fan! The game quickly descended in both halves into Saraus beating on Orcs, and visa versa, and ended with a quick and scrappy touchdowns from both sides resulting in a one-all draw.
Arni, why don't you take us through the league table?
Arnild: Do it yourself, you insolent toad.
Phillipe: Right you are!
Goodbye from myself, Arni, and Cheap Shot Sports!
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