Smash Of The Week - Week 7 Round Up

Midgard Marvels Line up against Dragons Unleashed

"OOOOOoooOOooOoOooooo yeh! It's time tonight, tonight the time is right, time your time just right, because time-keeping is not for the meek, it's time for Smash Of The Week!!

Phillipe Flabbybun: Err, yes, hello and welcome, to Smash O- "-OooOoOoooOoooo yeh! Here's two guys you see every week, and boy they're on one hot streak, presenting Smash Of The Week!"

Phillipe: Right, yes, okay, as I was saying, welcome to Smash Of The Week. We have a new feature here on your favourite highlights program, and will be joined by the Rock'n'Rollers Griddy Ron And The Dirty Players, for um, how long Arni?

Arnild Swoonzenorger: What is this heathen garbage? Why are my senses being assaulted by this excu-"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooooooooooooo yeeeeeeeeeeh! Phillipe is so sleak, and Arnild not so weak, we never end up the creak, on Smash Of Th-"

Arnild: -ENOUGH! YOUR FOUL, GARBLED ATTEMPTS AT SOFT ENTERTAINMENT REPEL AND DISGUST THE DEPTHS OF MY SOUL! IF YOU PERSIST ON CONTINUING WITH YOUR STAIN ON THE UNDERGARMENTS OF MUSIC, I WILL FORCE YOUR INSTRUMENTS UP YOUR MOST INTERMITTENT OF HOLES!!

Phillipe: Couldn't have said it better myself, Arni!

Now I am able to concentrate, lets get back to Blood Bowl! Cablevision viewers across the Old World were treated to four league games of Ball, which this week included a five goal thriller, a draw from the jaws of victory, and an assault on a well known businessman!

Nighthawks (4) Vs (0) The Undercity Speedsters

Boy do these Humans like playing Skaven! Nighthawks fans won't be surprised to see their team at the top of the billing this week, after putting four scores past The Speedsteers, making it nine from two games! The Human team must be putting in some serious time on the training ground, and it is certainly showing on the field. Rumour has it that Hawks have caused so many casualties recently that the Midgard Health Service have started sending an extra Apothecary to their games!

Nagash Nightmares (2) vs (1) Tails Of The Riverbank

The beatdown begins

Given their recent track record, Riverbank fans would have been forgiven for fearing the worst when thrower Schwartz Warpstoned failed a quick pass within the first minute of play, causing the rest of the team to be caught flat-footed in the confusion that followed. The Skaven eventually regrouped and scored near the end of the first half, but lost two lineman to The Nightmares violence-frustrated Mumies, with one rat being sent to the infirmary table and the other to the morgue (and then later to the Nightmares changing room)! The second half started badly for The Riverbanks after the Undead team capitalised on the shrinking number of Skaven on the field and quickly equalised. A brave attempt to grab a late winner came from the Riverbanks, but Warpstoned fumbled the ball under pressure as the shambling horde descended upon him, which eventually squeezed out into the hands of a Ghoul who put a second score on the board and secured three points for the Nightmares.

Waaghsinton Greenskins (2) Vs (0) Furham Athletic

The Greenskins gave a very familiar and genuine Blood Bowl welcome to Furham Athletic, by thumping the new boys two goals to nil and sending five rats to the infirmary! It was always going to be tough entering the division a third of the way into a season, and although Furham gave a good account of themselves it wasn't enough to halt the green onslaught. The biggest moment of controversy took place after the game, when Gutter Runner Urznak Dripfang smashed a bottle of bubbly over the head Cleft Nikelson, Vice President of the Cheap Shot Sports. Cleft is yet to wake from his blunt-force-induced slumber, and rumour has it that the Nagash Nightmares have their eye on him for their next head of merchandising.

Our friends at F.A.R.C.E. were reporting at the game, and you can find their report on after this program!

Midgard Marvels (2) - (2) Dragons Unleashed

I have heard that a number of bookies had big pay outs to make on this game, after an unusually large number of Marvel and Dragon fans placed bets on a drawn result, and really who could blame them! Between the two teams there are now seven games which have resulted in seven draws! This week it is the Midgard Marvels who will be left ruing a missed opportunity after going two-nil up in the first half, but suffering a number of casualties for their efforts. Without the numbers to withstand the scaly onslaught in the second half the Lizardmen put two scores of their own past the Humans, ensuring a result which leaves both teams in the middle of their division. When asked about his teams run of draws, Marvels head coach Nick Fury replied with pulling out his pistol, blasting the reporter, and mummuring "How's that for a draw, punk.".

Arnild: Hurhur, Arniled appreciates this man's humour! You see little man, he drew his gun, that is why it is humerous!

Phillipe: That's exactly the reason Arni, thanks for explaining.

And that's it for another week! Join us later in the week for Gridiron Gaze, and until the-"OOOOOOOoooohh yeh! It's time to end the show, it'll be over in a mo-"

Arnild: -YOU OBNOXIOUS PESTS, I WARNED YOU! Give me that guitar, I'm going to make your last colonoscopy feel like it was a luxury spa session!