Smash Of The Week - Week 9 Round Up

Every one has eyes on the ball

Phillipe Flabbybun: Hello and welcome to Smash of the Week! As always, I am Phillipe, and co-hosting with me in his ever-direct manner is Arni!

Arnild Swoonzenorger: Listen you scroat, my name is Arnild! How many times must I repeat this? Must I scratch my name on a bat and hammer it into your tiny skull? Enough of this banter anyway, tell me, who is this old, wrinkled, potato of a man who is sat next to us? He smells like coin metal and has his own, putrid, spit-bucket.

Phillipe: Ah, my apologies for not saying earlier, we are also joined this week by a representative of the RARG, Referee Gregor 'Hobbler' Harrow! Good day Mr Harrow!

Gregor 'Hobbler' Harrow: Hm? Who are you? Where am I? 

Phillipe: Why Mr Harrow, you're here to talk about fouling in the M.A.D. league this season!

'Hobber': Hm, yes, and enough of this Mr Harrow, call me Hobbler, everyone else seems to, hm yes. Fouling, yes, fouling. My colleagues have told me that it's been a rather disappointing this season, so far.

Phillipe: Oh, that is unusual! Have our teams been particularly naughty?

'Hobbler': Whaaat?! Oh yes, hm, no, quite the opposite young Halfling, the teams have been far too clean and law-abiding. There has not been nearly enough foul play and underhandedness! Why is this mountain of a man staring at me? He hasn't blinked once in 2 minutes.

Phillipe: Oh, don't mind Arni, he only closes his eyes when in the safety of a locked room.

Arnild: Arnild has slain the husbands of too many hellions, de-fiefed the Dukes of too many barrony's and stolen too many a farmers prized donkey to risk closing his eyes in public. 

'Hobbler': Hm, quite. Anyway, Bloodbowl runs on a very specific eco-system, and the fact of the matter is that RARG relies on a certain level of bribery to maintain our books. I must encourage the teams of this M.A.D. league to begin to stick the boot in, while of course paying for my colleagues to go grab a hot dog whilst the act takes place.

Phillipe: Not quite the message I was expecting, but it was lovely to have you on 'Hobbler'!

'Hobbler': What!? Speak up!

Phillipe: Now, let's have a look at last week's games!


Bar'Dhum Breakers (1) vs (0) Nu Ork Jetz

The Breakers punch a hole through Jetz line

The game between The Breakers and The Jetz turned out to be a rather unspectacular event, with only a single goal scored and casualty caused within the whole game! A series of bizarre events however turned this game into a must watch! Following the hype and success of managing to persuade star player Vaarg Ghoul-Chewer to play for The Jetz in their last game, their chairman decided to get him on board again for their game versus the Bar'Dhum Breakers. The resulting marketing campaign across Middenheim resulted in over 14,000 Jetz fans packing and overcrowding the rafters (there were in fact so many Jetz fans, that only 4,000 Dwarves managed to fit in the stadium). With the crowd heaving and howling to get a glimpse of Vaarg, they were, let's say, 'disappointed', to find out that The Nu Ork Jetz line up did not contain the star Ork due to crossed wires with the teams transfer manager (literally crossed wires, it turns out he had been garotted in his office before the transaction was made). This resulted in a wholesale riot before kick off even took place, with half the stadium being torn up in the process! When play finally started the Jetz were berated so hard by their fans throughout the first half that instead of playing the ball, they ended up slamming it into the ground in anger and arguing with the crowd!

I've Got A Woodie (1) vs (2) Orocarni Stiffbeards

As the league rumbles on, so too does The Stiffbeards winning streak and their path to the top of the table with a two to one win over The Woodies! With the Dwarves having won their last three on the bounce, the Elf management team decided it would be a good idea to bring in a Treeman for the game, but it turned out that his bark was worse than his bite and failed to bring the required muscle to the brawl. Rumour has it that the Dwarves have brought in an Engineer from their Karak, and that he took so long to get to Middenland as he drove his Deathroller all the way there!

That's it for this week, and I leave you with this week's league and a message from RARG; Get Fouling!

Week 9