Play Off Results: Orocarni Stiffbeards vs Bar'Dhum Breakers

Phillipe Flabbybun: Hello and welcome back to the studio, Gridiron fans! With both leagues now fully completed and the season at an end for twelve of our sixteen teams, it is now time to see the top teams in both divisions fight to become the M.A.D. Champion!

Arnild Swoonzenorger: Arnild predicts three games of immense tactics and violence! Bring on the play offs, for with it Arnild hosts his annual Play Off Party!!

Phillipe: Those parties are things of legend Arni! Is it true that the star Goblin Looney Greeg Whigglesniffer was eaten by Yaaahaarg the Yeti at your last event?

Arnild: Arnild has been advised not to talk about such things by other interested parties. Also, I have not seen Yaaahaarg after his stomach was stitched back together after swallowing a running chainsaw. In an unrelated incident, naturally.

Phillipe: It's just a shame you'll be working with me this year, and that your party will have to be postponed this-

Arnild: WHAT?!? Curse the grandparents of the bubonic scum who tricked me into signing this contract! This will not do, Arnild will bring the party here instead! I will be back within seven days, with more revelries and pleasant horrors than you're miniature body can withstand!

Phillipe: Arni? Arni! Well, looks like it's just me for the first game then.

Play-Off Week 1 - Orocarni Stiffbeards (2) vs Bar'Dhum Breakers (1)

'The Beardbowl' had been a highly anticipated event amongst the short, hairy community of the Worlds Edge, Middle and Grey Mountains when it was decided that the Orocarni Stiffbeards would be playing the Bar'Dhum Breakers, with thousands of Dwarfs flocking to the 'Iron Furnance' stadium near Ostermark; a purpose built stadium by Dwarfs for Dwarf exclusive games. The Orocarni Stiffbeards were the favourites going into the game after winning their division and getting more game time in, and although the Breakers were as stubborn to grind down as they have been all season, the game ended up in favour of the Dwarfs in blue and silver.

The Breakers received the ball in the first drive after winning the coin toss, in the hope of scoring a touchdown and preventing their opponents from scoring back in the first half. After a wayward kick from the Stiffbeards the ball suffered a touchback and was collected by the Breakers 'strongest Dwarf in the realm', GGJ, who surged forward and bellowed at his team mates to form a cage around him. Knowing that they would be out muscled in a war of attrition, The Breakers burst into their opponents half quickly but weren't able to form a cage to keep the runner protected, but however luckily for them The Stiffbeards didn't seem to be used to the stone floors yet and slipped twice to allow GGJ to hammer his way past a blocker and gallop over into the endzone.

Now receiving the ball, Stiffbeards blitzer Yakhoick Blessedbuster managed to anticipate the trajectory of the kick and snatched it out of the air before it landed. With only half the half remaining to score, The Stiffbeards moved quicker than they possibly have all season and punched a neat hole into The Breakers lines by exploiting the veteran blocking skills of their Longbeards. The Dwarfs in black weren't able to stop the wave of hair, losing a blitzer to casualty in the process, and Yakhoick carried the ball home to equalise before halftime.

The Stiffbeards began the second half in possession of the ball, and the game quickly turned into the game of violent attrition that The Breakers had been trying to avoid. As The Stiffbeards moved the ball slowly up the field their opponents were literally throwing their bodies in the way of the cage in an attempt to apply enough pressure to cause a mistake. That mistake however never came, and in the dying moments of the game enough space was made to allow the ball carrier to escape The Breakers and score the winning touchdown.


Join us next time for what is sure to be a higher scoring event, Music Or The Lizery versus London Warps!